Lol and a half- Deception plays an awfully wicked game..

Oh boy has it been off to a good week already!
Found out that Sam is with Alex, and not me.. apparently, he makes her happy..
i thought i did.. ok then..
good luck with that then both of you..
anyway..
Sharie rocks my cotton socks and i can say that cos i can =]
Love you baby x
anwyay again lol
noone can believe it and noone can figure why in the world it is happening..
as for me, when i found out, i went angry then i didnt care.. simple as that..
also ordered cable to find it was the wrong one, so need to send back and get the right one..
thats it really lol
what a fun life i live!!
who needs hollywood!! lol

LIVING FOR THE BEST; LIVING FOR ETERNITY

Over the past couple of days, I have been thinking about things.. things that are beyond the scope of this world..
I am not trying shove anything down anyone's throat.. everyone who knows me knows that much.. lol
but anyway..
Its Sabbath now.. and I am sitting here reading about eternity or eien, 永遠, and thinking about what it entails..
how the Judgment is on now and will come..
and how much it puts things in my life into perspective..
many ppl say that i am very wise for my age.. that i am a old soul in a young body.. that i know where i want to go and what i want to do with my life..
and I can only thank God for that because without Him... I wouldnt being able to even write this right now..
So many things were happening to me this week i was unsure if it was a dream or not..
so many thoughts.. so many wants.. so many desires..
but all in due time my friends..
There have been times when i look up at the night sky and i just imagine what eternity holds for me.. and for all those who want to be with God..
this isnt some fairytale, it isnt something that i have a false hope in.. but that is for another time.. like i said i am not here to push my beliefs into other people's throats..
History has been made, and more is to come..
but all i know is this..
i want to be on that sea of glass.. and to have my own mansion in that world made new!!
I WANT TO WALK ON THOSE GOLDEN STREETS AND PLANT MY OWN STUFF AND EAT IT!! I WANT TO TALK WITH ANGELS AND WITH THE ONE WHO WAS BY MY SIDE ALL MY LIFE!!
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I COULDNT DO ON THIS PLANET..
AND MOST OF ALL I WANT TO SEE THE GODHEAD!!!
XD
AND I WANT ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO BE THERE!!!
BUT THAT IS THEIR CHOICE.. BUT I KNOW THAT I AM GOING TO BE THERE!!
HELP ME NOT TO HAVE MY HOPES CENTERED ON THIS WORLD GOD!! XD
I WANT YOU.. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! XD
that was fun.. and very releasing :D

Awesome day- AWESOME MARTIAL ARTS XD

TODAY WAS OFF THE CHAIN.. anyway lol
went to school late cos i was sleeping like a log.. lol
met up with sam and the others.. who were a bit on the hyper side.. to say the least..
then had some chinese with jen, rasheed, mandy and sam=]
it was good :D
then went to shops.. and hugged and done that loads lol
then met scott, julian, tia, and jordan..
then came home with alex..
and the girls broughts handcuffs.. lol
then came to the martial arts..
it is and was amazing!!!
they have weapons and they are so honoring!!
i learned 3 takedowns!!
i am so going back!!!
and it is very convienent as well for me :D
cant wait!!
only thing was that jordan, alex or sam couldnt make it!!! =[
but they can next week.. (well jordan is at least and so is alex.. and so sam is as well lol!)
all in all, today was rocking!
and also got a new song coming for Project X!!
GOOD TIMES!!!

A NEW DAY, A NEW PHASE IN HISTORY

there is much to say today!!!!
first of all ( and i can say this.. cos i am both black and american!!!)
OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT!! OHHH YEA!!!
THAT IS THE HIGHLIGHT FOR TODAY!!!
otherwise lol ..
band practice was good!!!
today was pure goodness today!!
cant wait to see her!!! going to be so good!!!
but i have to wait!!! :(
no!!!!
i am doing some programming for dummies lol but its all good!!

Too much to write.. should of wrote this earlier..

Well there is much to write...
got soo much to do, and so much to say ! !Lol
had 2 exams over the past week!! really 2 but anyway..
atm i am doing computing for dummies after revising at kara's house! lol it was good
talking to sharie as well :D so yeah that is going good.. lol
cant wait to see her! going to be good :XD
funny as much as i want to say something, that is about it lol
more later .

The Day of Reckoning..

I will be brief..
Exam 2moro, and i think i am ready for it..
part of me is a bit concerned.. have i done as much as i could?
either way, no need to cram as it wont help..
just going to look over one last time..
hence the name.. and hence my state of mind..
but there are other things in my mind which i am thinking about..
but for another day...
my heart seems to beat with fear as well as with anticipation... maybe i dont want to admit what i knew all along?

Only Look Up!

Hmm.. what to write about tonight..
*looks around and thinks*
Ahh.. much to say really. Turns out my fears became naught.. :D
Today was pretty good.. though i did waste some time playing games when i could have been out... I spoke to her last night, and we talked for a good while :D.. Anyway, i saw her by stroke of genius when i came out of a shop, and didnt leave her side since.. lol
it is quite ironic.. i was with her, yet i didnt say one word.. i think it was nerves.. which i said to her later on.. though she couldnt understand why i was nervous at all.. so anyway.. we was walking around town, with no aim to go.. so we walked around and around.. then she wanted to go, so we walked to her house and spoke on the way.. hence the earlier part..
she is worried about her exam.. i told she has no need to be.. :D
as i was going to say bye to her at her door, i went inside and met her family..
i was like *what do i say..^.^* so i sat down and listened while they talked and got to know her a bit better through watching how she acted with her family..
anyway... we left the house, and we talked..
now here is the moment.. Could i tell her how i felt, and not get the backfire?
it was about to get tense, so i took a leap (not physically but you should be adequate enough to know that) and told her.
and to my surprise, she was the same to me as i was to her!
so booya to that one XP XD
we left and i got home and then my mom let me know that i never called her or anything today as my phone was dead.. earlier anyway.. she made me lemon cake!!! :D
it was good :D
so basically, day was good and then got better :D
Hence the title, Only Look Up :D

Cold Night, Warm Heart? Conflicts within my mind..

If i can say anything it would be that today was about the most rollercoaster day this year so far...
i woke up 4 in the morning for absolutely no reason.. :S and had the most vivid dream ever...
went to school, and then met her at school =] it was good :D
then i got to do some work.. which kinda turned into talking to ppl...
then i got to talking to her.. but then we didnt get to do much.. i think it was because i was nervous.. :(
anyway.. time went like crazy.. and still didnt do anything with her =[
then my mind started to run away.. and i got scared and nervous at the same time..
i wanted to hug her like mad but there were other ppl there and i was scared that they would say something so i didnt...
then i started to feel clouds of despair coming over me.. i felt like i was going into this and that for some reason, she wasnt going to same way as me..
so then i became quiet and i thought that she wouldnt want to notice me..
and i felt alone... very much alone..
so i put some music on and went on one of those walks.. everyone has them.. when u have to be alone, but you want someone to be wanting to be with you..
afterwards, i spoke to Rasheed and i thought that i was putting too much into this, and that i might get hurt... so i didnt know how to feel..
then i came back and i sat by myself.. i felt sick inside.. i wanted to cry.. to be honest.. but i didnt..
then school ended, and she asked if i wanted to hug and i said it was too crowded and she didnt.. but i really wanted her to.. =[
so then i left school with Rasheed and Alex around and spoke while i thought about what happened.. and what may happened..
Alex and Rasheed cheered me up and i was feeling better. the martial arts was today so i called her and asked if she could make it.. and she said she could so i was like :D cos then i could talk to her and be close to her.. which was what i wanted. then i went home and revised.. exam 2moro!!! i am ready tho so i am ok. now as i waited to go with her, she told me she couldnt make it.. i was like :/ but couldnt do much.. but at least she wanted to come..
then i went to the place to find that it wasnt on today.. so i was like :/.
now i came home and had lasagna with naan bread.. so good=] now i am waiting to go and meet her.. :D
so all in all the day was a turnaround.. nice :D

Another cold night.. another inspiring thought

Just a thought about doing this after i done my other one earlier.. i walked home from college.. well i went to church first to realise no prayer meeting was on.. so i was like :? anyway home now, and as i was walking i heard canon in a remix and so i carried on in my head and it became my own cover of it!
so now my goal for now.. is to at least play what is in my head and onto guitar!
only issue is how to do it.. it'll come to me.. lol
i will get into my history but not now.. not in the mood to..
but one thing i will say is this: I miss her and i want a hug:D she knows who she is :P
but i am warm, but that doesnt change it that much.. but i can look foward to seeing her 2moro :D so always a good thing:D

Life Through My Eyes (Part 1)

so a blog.. hmm.. never thought i would do this.. but cool to do it..
so much to say and now i can say it :D
for example today was crazy!
i got this massive headache that doesnt want to stay in one place.. *grr*
and i got loads of things in my head too.. girls on the brain :P
so far this week was ok, cept my one of my band members wasnt in.. didnt matter so much as we still got stuff done..
i finally got a band name!! Project X!
well i think it's cool anyway so :P
my birthday was off the chain as well as christmas! (get the comparison?)
i got so much to do in term of resolutions!!
2moro i am going to go to martial arts in st. nicks XD
hopefully jordan and sam are coming :D
should be good ..
need to some more japanese study.. i havent touched it once in the break.. not good. can barely remember stuff.. it will come back though.. always does..
also reading the Bible in japanese! talk about ambition!!! did i spell that right??
my goal for now is to memorise the whole of Genesis 1 in japanese! talk about stretching the mind!!!
Scott came just now !! btw i am college =] which rocks!!
math was good today :D
sat with ellie and then my head started to hurt.. wasnt her though..
thinking about sam.. and chemistry.. and how my head hurts..
and also what time it is somewhere in the world randomly =]
and how i want to be with her right now.. but i am not =[ got to wait!!!!
sad really..
i need to sort my room out again i think.. or just to calm down or something.. but i am already calm:S lol
hmm chemistry exam friday.. nice =]
listening to nickelback- photograph.. such a good song=] makes me think about my relationships i had with my ex's.

more when i can be done with one =]