There are things I need to start doing.

After thinking and reflecting and nearly writing a post on Saturday just gone, there are some things I need to be doing. 

For example: taking better care of my money and how to improve the talent God gave me to watch over. 

For that, there is a website I can sign up to that I learned at church; I'll do that and start putting it into practice as soon as I can. 

Another thing that I need to do is immerse myself in my two loves, but sometimes forgotten: guitar and Japanese. Earlier, I was listening and playing guitar and it got me thinking that I need to be consistent like I used to be. Over time, I just stopped playing and then forgot about it all together (and that's a sad time for anything you used to do). 

So I decided that I need to and I mean need to start again, even if it is re building the foundations. I need to find ways of setting goals and doing what I need to do to be a proficient guitarist as well as Japanese linguist. (I don't even know if the last part was correct grammatically or not. Oh well lol). 

On another note, I've started to hit the gym again and this time, I'm focusing more on just streamlining everything I do and do it slow and controlled and to failure in each set. So today I did my chest, triceps and shoulders. My litmus test is if I can hold myself up with my triceps. And I couldn't when I was at the gym. 

I simply want to not give up, because I promised myself and God that I want to give the best body I can to my wife to be. (That in itself is in 2 months. Just). So, there is a lot I have to do and I have the time to do it. I just need to be focused. 

So, I will try and dedicate time to each thing I want to so: Japanese and guitar. 

For Japanese, it'll mean finding new people to talk to on Skype and reading and practicing more. 

For first, il mean focusing on one genre and sticking with it. I have chosen jazz; why? Because I like how it sounds and I think it is something I can make it my own. 

Finally, the gym. I'm going to make sure that I eat very well and train the hardest I can. I thought I lost my padlock, and it was on my desk the whole time! (Praise The Lord, because I didn't want to buy another one, that's for sure!)

So, that is that for now. There are other things I want to discuss, but I got a devotion to do right now. Ooh, on that note, I am studying the Gospels in the morning, starting from Matthew and I'm going to work my way to John. The point of it is to see the mindset of Jesus in what He said and did and emulate that everyday and way I can. 

That's that for now! 

:) 

I need to keep writing. It's good for me.

So today was a good day. I know I haven't been writing much and there is l excuse for that. 

But I will partially update on what's been happening since I last wrote. (More to come in detail in another post). 

A lot of wedding planning has happened and my premarital counseling is now over. 

And that is bittersweet, but it was going to happen and I have to take from it what I was taught and grow with it. 

89 days to go and counting. I'm learning more and more. 

But things are coming together. Placement is nearly over as well, and that's another thing that i have to realize as well. But as long as I'm here, ill make sure I do my best and be the best. 

:) 

Reflections

So I'm up right now. I should be sleeping. But I'm up. Talking to Jesus and looking through old pictures. Pictures of my life before Boo and with her. (There will be no after in Jesus' name!) 

Tonight was a hard night for me. I felt tempted to go back to the old ways ( p and m), but God helped me to overcome. I'm getting married in under 5 months; 5 months! That's incredible! Part of me still can't believe it. Looking back through my blog posts, I wanted and longed for what I'm going to have soon. And I only have God to thank for that. I'm going to be Marie to a woman that lives me for me, even when I'm not lovable (which sometimes for me, feels 40% of the time). I can't understand the deep undercurrents of the love, but that's like God's love; so instead of deciphering it out, I'm accepting it and basking in it. 

At the moment, I'm going through old pictures i had on my blackberry before I gave it to my mom and  also on my phone. As I look through them, most are pictures of me and Naomi, and some aren't. When I see the ones of us, specially back in 2012, I laugh to myself because it was fresh then, 6 months in. To me, no one comes even close to Naomi; not Kim K (I only said her cos he's the first that came to my mind) or some other chick. God is showing me that she has to be first after Him, and that's rightly so. 

So back to my reflections; which is what I'm doing. The last time I wrote about Naomi, there was a picture that captured her for me. So this is like a part 2 of that. She has been doing insanity for a while now and she's been getting fitter and fitter (in both definitions of the word or me :)) and I look back on what she was like before. She wasn't fat at all to me,(although she felt she was) but over time, she changed and became more And more beautiful, inside and out. Right now, I can see a picture of one the famous parts of her that I jest with her about.  (She knows that it is). 

And although I can't see her and gold her physically today, I will see her on Tuesday. More and more, I'm realizing that I can't live without her. Simply. It isn't sinful to say that because if I could, I wouldn't want to marry her. Straight to truth. Besides the sex, I want her for her. That's it. She's my other half; eve, etc etc. And by her 28th birthday, she'll be mine forever. And that's the game changer for me. The premarital counseling we have every Tuesday puts more solidly to me that I have a duty to make her first priority and me second. Whether in sex or money or whatever. But it's her responsibly to do the same. And we are both up for that. So I can't wait to put Into practice that which I've been waiting 8 years for (I've been want ken to be a family man since wrong 15 years old). So for me, it'll be one of my life goals for sure ticked off. The thing I desire God will help me to achieve. 

No woman, porn or anything, will come between me and Naomi. Because Jesus has laid an example to love my spouse unconditionally, like He loves me. And that's what I'm going to do. 

Can't wait.