Oh how i am loved.

As i sat down to eat, i thought of my day.

One of the thoughts was constant.

I wanted her in my presence.

I wanted to hold her, to touch her, to be with her.

Is that wrong?

No it isnt.

Its natural.

I left her messages throughout the day, hoping she would respond.

As i was watching a sermon, she did!

My heart was so happy! I tell you! It did backflips. =]

Then i thought about how much God loved me.

How He was there.. picture this.

the darkness all around. Sounds muffled and noncoherent.

Liquid passing through you and around you.

But a hand is felt all the way through.

Suddenly.. Light! Bursting light! Breath for the first time!

God Himself said He carried You through birth, holding your hand.

Watching You as You formed, as Doing it at the same time.

He loves it when You smile. When you are happy.

He will be with You til the day You breathe Your last.

Because You made it a goal to be so close to Him that You can Hear His Footsteps.

Even death is not a bad thing; its a sleep, but You can hear His Voice.

I will come back for You, because You mean the world to me.

that went through my mind when i was away from her eating.

all of that.

then i was like.

wow. God wants me this much. Everyday i wake up, I say to myself, God wants me. He wants me to live today. If He didnt, He could've left me to do die in the hospital that christmas day 19 years ago.

Satan would've loved it.

God saw different.

He even said of me, I loved You before You were born. I have great things for You. Come and follow Me.

Before everyday is even done, it is the Book already, though it didnt even happen yet!

Now i come to her.

I love her so much.

It hurts at times.

Then i realise this;

she loves me back.

I dont understand why. i dont know why. but i stopped questioning why now.

Its like God's love in a microcosm; I cant understand it, but I just bask in it.

I want to make her happy.

Just like God does.

I want to make her secure. Like God does.

I know God can do it infinitesimally more than i can.

I am not bothered; He is God. of course He can.

I can just do what He gives me the power to do.

But You know what?

私は私が常にほしかった何かを有する: 彼女の中心。 そして私は内容である.

watashi wa watashi ga toko ni hoshikatta nani ka wo asuru: Kanojo no chūshin . soshite watashi wa naiyou de aru.

I have something I always wanted: Her heart. and I am content.