Thought about a lot before writing this..

Over the past couple of days, it has been pretty chill and not doing much sort of mood. Except for using my touch and phone for internet. Now that the internet is in my room once again (came today! woo), I can use it for the remainder of my stay in Stevenage.


Another thing that came across my mind is how I treat people; it is getting better, but I know I can improve and be better. I just saw one of my friends blog after not being in the blogging scene for a long time, and I am glad she is again :) I just hope she enjoys uni and clings to God, even though she has rough patches she goes through.

That's another thing I thought about. Over the month of September, Boo and I have been reading devotionals on suffering and pretty much everything about it. And its a lot of stuff, and gets put into practice pretty much now and then, or if we can encourage others. Although at the present time, my life isn't too hard right now, I know sorrow comes and goes. But in faith, I will make sure I cling to Jesus, because without Him, I know I don't have a snowball's chance in getting anything done spiritually.

So to all reading this, if you are going through anything, ask God to help you cling to Him. If you aren't religious, what harm can it do if you ask God for help and to get to know Him?

There are many things in my mind right now, as i am writing; the clouds look nice, even though it is starting to get colder; I can't wait to sign up to the gym; I miss Boo and I can't wait to see her on Sunday :)

Sometimes, I have to realize in order to appreciate what I have, I kind of have to see what people don't have , for example I have an amazing girlfriend who understands me and wants to be with me, even when I am not 100% like Jesus. Some people don't have that kind of relationship, even if they have someone. So i am grateful for what God has allowed me to have, and I make sure everyday that I don't take her, or anything that I have been given for granted.

Another thing however that I noticed, is that I am very absorbed in what I do; I don't usually get into other people's lives that much, and my mom brought that to my attention the other night. And I now realize that it isn't a good thing. I can't be in everyone's lives at the same moment, but it is good to keep regular contact with people, even family.

Another thing that came across to me is that I am going to become vegetarian for 3 months with Boo; but it is funny; i remember saying to my Nan years ago, that i wouldn't mind going in that direction, but i just didn't have the motive and drive for it. And she said that the same way i went off pork, is the same way i will go off meat( she is vegan, but will never force it down your throat kind) and that God will do that when He sees best. So now, I have that motive and drive missing all those years ago; and God gave me a partner, Boo, to do it with :) So honestly, i can't wait to see and feel the changes. :) It isn't a salvation issue, but I know it will help me much more than the diet I have now.

I also have been reading the old posts I have on here over the past couple of weeks, and I can see the changes that I have made; and also on this computer, as well. I have gone from being obsessed about boobs (yea Joy, it is hard being so open on this for sure), to know being single-minded about women as a whole. It took a lot of time and God made sure of this, and it's still a work in progress, but my attention is redirected now towards long term goals, not instant ones.

And one last thing; now this is the hardest part for me in a sense but I am glad and i can say thank You only to God for this; it has been over a year since I looked at porn and did associated stuff with it ( you can see i'm not so open as to even mention the m word but either way). I realized that the reason I had such obsessions and stuff was simply because of that. it will take time for it to go completely (it was a habit for over 8 years), so I know it won't go just like that. BUT God will greater than my old sins and habits, so I know finally I can say AMEN! :D And I say that because there were times, and many times, when i pleased myself and wanted to stop but was just locked into it hard. And the one thing I can say to those who struggle guy or girl, wanting to stop, is to get on your knees or whatever position you do to pray to God and plead and ask Him wholeheartedly to eradicate this habit from the life. It is truly soul-destroying and mind-numbing, and I don't want to go back to it EVER. I rather wait to get married to Naomi, and have all the sex we want then to cheat on her and God before her. So the wait is worth it; and I know God will set people free from doing it, if they ask Him and abstain from it, because He did it for me.

That's all for now :)