This isn't how I want to go home. Can't we start over?? Please?

I shouldn't even be writing this. But I'm writing it as a chapter in my life which was written without my consent. Today was a good day. It went so smoothly. Boo went to work I stayed at her house and did what I had to do. Dinner was fantastic. Then all of a sudden, like a cloud in a deep blue cloudless sky the atmosphere changed and I wasn't even aware.
I didn't think going to the bus stop would be such a painful experience. But we walked in silence yet it was louder than a jet engine to me. We didn't even hold hands, why I don't know. Part of me wanted to but didn't know if she would respond. And so we walk in silence. Step after agonizing step. Then we get to the bus stop and she keeps on walking and I stopped because I thought it was clear to us both this was where I had to wait. But she kept walking. And every step was painful to my heart. Crushing it with every step. The legs I love to watch walked all over heart it seemed. And the worst part to me was that she didn't even turn around. Misunderstanding? Probably but even when she turned and saw me standing there, dumbfounded, she still walked. Which multiplied my pain beyond bearability. It just hurt me so much because she has never hurt me this much. Ever. Little things yea but we made up. What made this worse is that there was no discussion of what the problem was at all and no goodbye or anything. That's what killed me. And that's when the one she promised wouldn't enter entered.
Doubt.
Doubt that she cared about me or maybe I was a nuisance at that moment in time. And I never ever felt doubtful of her love to me. So right now this is new territory and I do not like it one bit.
Right now Im just praying. Because I know what I want to do but doing it is another thing altogether.