Woo :D

Today was a new start for sure :D

Woke up a bit late, still had time with God and Naomi :)
She went off to work but as she was she told me she was going to South Africa this time next year.
and the first thing i thought was this:

Now what ran through my mind was stuff like, "she's going away!" and i thought that because i wanted to be with her there as well, that i was being too needy, or controlling or any other negative emotion.
i didnt realize to just right now that, that the reason i thought i was being needy was because of in my past relationships i was either told i was a bit needy or i thought i was and that was why the relationship ended or something. so there are still things from the past that i didnt know are still there like this issue.

so afterwards i spoke to her about it and she said to me that it was so sweet and so cute and (other girly things as well) that i wanted to be where she is all the time. while i thought, "really? it sounds like a stalkerish thing to me! how do you see that differently?!" but anyway, i believe what she says. after all, she is speaking her mind, so another i realized is that i need to trust what people say and not think, "they don't really mean that"; seeing that is another issue ive had for years. yet that in itself is strange, seeing as i can trust people easily. she sees is as i moved up from behaving like a boyfriend to starting to behave like a husband :')

(She always see the potential in me!)

after this, we spoke about marriage as well and the aspects of it. and afterwards, i thought about it myself when brushing my teeth.

i thought to my own self, "am i ready for marriage?" would people see me as ready somewhat for it or am I not? did some serious speaking to God with that.

so now the cardio:
Mom went out somewhere, so i decided to myself,
"Self?"
"yep."
"lets do cardio."
"its been a while; lets do it :D"

(yea, those kinda conversations happen in my brain :D)

Go heart! :D

i didnt look like the guy on the machine; i was just in the zone.

so while doing cardio, i spoke to Jesus :) i use those times to speak all heart to heart.

all about the marriage things and all sorts. it is so nice to know i can speak to God and know He hears me and loves me more than i can ever imagine :)

now i got to get ready :D

meeting Vimbai for bowling, catching up and her favorite, Nando's

many black people have lost their chicken virginity to this place.

and then afterwards meeting up with someone else and then back home for some japanese study, which i was going to to now, but i need to shower and leave :p

=]